Kingdom Hearts Parody
by alexander.baker.330
Summary: Some of the graphics and language may be inappropriate for young age groups.
1. Chapter 1

All right, here's my chapter thingamajig that involves spongebob, kingdom hearts, and a little bit of new characters. It's supposed to be a parody of spongebob being homosexual, so if i offend anyone, i don't mean it.

NOTE: CONTAINS OBSCENE LANGUAGE AND DISGUSTING GRAPHICS THAT MAY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR MINORS.

PROLOGUE

"This world has been connected. Tied to the darkness." And now, a new evil has risen. During the Organization's experiments, the members had unknowingly created something repulsive. Their wasted, being deported onto the world of Orxon, had been gradually and increasingly risen to the point of new life being created.

Orxon was a beautiful world, filled with daisies that fill the meadows, stretching to as far as the eye could see. The water was so pure that one sip would leave you refreshed. the air was so clean, it seemed as though it was intoxicating to breath in. The world was growing, untouched by waste, disease, and destruction. However, the Organization's waste had ended up on this world. The air slowly turned sour. The daises transformed into black lotuses. The water became cloudy. And, as this waste slowly grew, it merged with the life. It creeped to the bottom of the sea, slowly but steadily. And this is where our story begins.

One day, Spongebob Squarepants was going to work, as usual, to bother Squidward and to get money to pay the "Pineapple". Patrick was taking care of Gary because he was doing nothing that day. When all was said and done, it was light-out for everyone, except Squidward. At this exact moment, the Organization's waste started pouring through. the waste merged with Spongebob, Patrick, and Gary, however Squidward was safe due to his abnormal immune system. The entire town was his. This had created changes that are too varied to go into detail. Spongebob was no longer the Spongebob they knew. He was now Spongebob the Homo Guy. And, since that day, the new beings have risen, adopting the name Heirarchy Over Masculin Orifices, or more commonly known as Homos or the Homobuddies.

Squidward was captured by Spongebob and his Homo minions, going through the torture of being anally molested by Spongebob's enlargened penis. Patrick, Gary, and Crusty Crab became the generals of this Homo army to try and take over all the worlds for their own pleasure. Orxon, the once-beautiful world, had been drastically changed, becoming the base of the Homo's. Spongebob made multiple factories where he could make multiple clones of his minions, generals, and himself in order to conquer these sought-out worlds.

The Organization is totally oblivious to these new beings taking rise. Sora, Riku, and Kairi were still on the Destiny Islands, enjoying their last days of peace and fun for at least a good six months or so. Maxi, an nunchuck foul-mouthed specialist who like driving in extemely fast vehicles, was currently minding his own business, never knowing that Yen Sid is keeping an eye out for him. Zhang-Yu, a tactical genius as well as an inventor, is friends with Maxi, even though he doesn't like some of his idiosyncrasies. King Mickey was thinking about a counter-attack measure against Xehanort for the time being with Donald, Goofy, Chip, Dale, and the rest of the gang. And ever since that first attack of the Homobuddies on the home world of Xiane, Maxi and Zhang's home, everything changed. For everyone

For Maxi.

End of Prologue  
Main Characters (so far, more will be added on later)  
Sora  
Ansem, Darkness Embracer  
Zhang-Yu  
Xigbar  
Riku  
Maxi  
Marluxia  
Xemnas  
Goofy  
Donald (he's not an ass in this unless he gets pissed off)  
King Mickey  
Larxene  
Lea  
Squidward  
Patrick the Stardick  
Spongebob the Homo Guy  
Gary the Sickly Ball  
Crusty Crabs and the "Golden Mits"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

The Attack Upon Xiane

Maxi was doing what he usually does on those lazy Sunday afternoons where everyone just looks outside because there's nothing to do inside, which was driving at three hundred miles per hour, whipping out his nun chucks to deflect the oncoming bullets from the police and knocking mailboxes down at the same time.

"AAAWWWWWW YEAH, BITCHES!" Maxi yells towards the fuzz. "YOU CAN'T GET ANY OF THIS SHIT! HA HA!"

The police eventually give up, as they always do, when Maxi made a sharp turn onto a secret path that only he and Zhang know about. Feeling the success of driving off from the police, Maxi heads towards his house to tell the new "war story" of the week, usually involving the police, lots of vulgar language, and a hot chick now and then. On his way, though, he kept on getting these weird vibes, like something was about to happen. And it sure wasn't good. Within the secret compartment of the car he pulls out a bottle of "Ye Olde Secret" alcoholic beverage and chugs like there's no tomorrow.

Maxi gets home in a semi-sober mood and finds Zhang just sitting in the living room, playing with a new gadget as well as watching the local news.

"Yo, what's up, Z-money?" Maxi asks teasingly. "You bring home any dough today with your latest "Inspector Gadget"?"

"Shut up, Maxi." Says Zhang, still playing with the device. "It's not like you actually did something of importance for once."

"Hey, that's just not my style, man. You've known me for eleven years now."

Zhang looks up from the device to Maxi, noting the sweat dripping down from his raven black hair, untidy from all the wind blowing through it, and his hazel eyes dried out from the excess wind. He had a pair of nun chucks in his right hand and a bottle in the other. He wore a green undershirt with a black vest covering the muscular chest and arms. Still smiling from beating the police again, and from being tipsy, he walks over to his favorite chair and relaxes in it.

Zhang, on the other hand, was different from Maxi. His blond, straight hair was cut military style. His blue eyes had that calming look within it, almost hypnotizing to stare into. He wore a blue dress shirt, a black coat, and a navy tie to exude an aura of intelligence, as well as to hide the little bit of fat he has. To all, he was a healthy, business-like man. However, the only person that knows the extent of his genius is Maxi, even though he pokes fun at him at his failures. Zhang grew up in the good part of the city, whereas Maxi grew in the slums. And the only person Maxi told his true life story to was Zhang. To others, he appears to be a thug who likes to cause damage.

"Yes, I know Maxi. And those years seem so long ago." Zhang says.

"And to think that within two months, we would've known each other for twelve years. Twelve years!" Maxi exclaims, almost in disbelief. "This definitely has lasted longer than those bitchy marriages."

"It sure has." Zhang looks away from Maxi towards the news, seeing something of non-importance, and changes the channel towards "Adult Swim," Maxi's favorite network. "Well, I'm off to bed. It has been bad all week for me, so I'll just think about … stuff."

"Well, whatever, bro. I'll be here when ya need me." Maxi kicks back in the recliner and puts the alcoholic beverage next to him.

Time went by slowly. As Zhang was concluding what went wrong with his experimental product, Maxi was just having a good time by himself. Eventually, both of them went to sleep at around midnight. This was the night everything changed.

Sometime at two O'clock in the morning Maxi woke up suddenly to a loud yell from a neighbor a couple of houses down. Then, a second scream, and then a third.

"Who the hell's partying at this time of night?" Maxi asks aloud to himself, getting his nun chucks out. He walked towards the door and looked out, seeing nothing wrong on the surface. But how would he hear screams within his sound-proofed house? Then, it came to him. "Son of a bitch! How many fucking times do I have to tell these god damn people to stay out of my fucking house?" Maxi walks towards Zhang's room and opens it, just to find Zhang sound asleep in his now-wrinkled suit.

"Hey, get up!" Maxi yells, shaking the body.

"Mph… go away… "Zhang mumbles, turning his body.

"I SAID GET YOUR ASS UP!" Maxi yells again, this time hitting Zhang on the arm with the nun chucks.

"OUCH!" Zhang says, rubbing his arm and getting out of bed at the same time. "What was that for?"

"We got someone in our house again."

"Ugh… this is starting to be a pain in the donkey." Zhang gets out his claw-like weapon and puts it on his hands. "Alright, let's check it out… OH CRAP! WHAT IS THAT!?"

Maxi turns around just in time to see a sponge-like fiend pull down his pants and reveal the Spatula 2000, the standard weapon given to clone Type 1. Horrified by the repulsive creature, Maxi struck out at lightning-fast speed towards the clone, knocking him out cold. The sponge fell over and dissolved into a bubbly vat of acid.

"WHAT … THE HELL… WAS THAT?" Maxi pants, clutching his chest to calm his heart down. "I HAVE NEVER BEEN THAT FUCKING SCARED BEFORE IN MY LIFE! You okay Zhang?"

Zhang's entire face was blanched; his eyes wide open from the shock. "We need to get out of here. Now."

"Alright, where to?" Maxi asks.

"Anywhere far away from here." Zhang states, packing the necessaries.

Yen Sid was sitting in the tall chair at the top of the Mysterious Tower, contemplating with Mickey what Xehanort would do next.

"It is apparent that Xehanort wishes to combine all the darknesses and the light together to form the_ x-_blade" says the master. "We must consider any strategy to outwit him."

"Well, we have to first have the seven guardians of light…" Mickey starts.

A portal to darkness opens up to reveal Lea in his cool-looking Organization coat. "Well, I'm sorry to interrupt the little chit-chat here, but we got a serious problem here. Bigger than Xehanort."

Yen Sid looks over to Lea. "How, exactly?"

"Well," Lea starts, "a new type of being is at this time being cloned multiple times on the planet of Orxon due to the Organization's neglecting of how they dispose of their trash, and look-y here! Now they done it. A new being called the Homos have risen up apparently, according to Ienzo. And these new "beings" are out to upset the balance of light and darkness, conquering the worlds for their own pleasure. As much as I would sit around and chat with ya'll guys 'bout this, I gotta head back to Radiant Garden to help clean up the place still. I'll be back as soon as I can." And, without a trace, Lea exits through the portal, closing it from behind.

"No! It cannot be! Could the Organization's experiments be that dangerous? Mickey, I would have you go to the world of Xiane, where I have kept a keen eye upon for some time now. However, it may already be too late to save the world. Go now and rescue someone named Maxi and Zhang-Yu. You will tell who they are when you land. These two would help us fight these beings."

"Yes, master Yen Sid! I'll be back before ya know it!" Mickey says, saluting before leaving the tower to the world of Xiane. (By the way, Xiane is said like SHE-AN, in case you're wondering.)

"Drive faster, Maxi!" Zhang exclaims, having his claws out. "They're gaining on us!"

"Well, if you weren't so god damned hard headed about taking everything, we wouldn't be in this position right now!" Maxi yells back.

The Homos brought vehicles to the assault on Xiane that were faster than Maxi's triple turbo engines. Their clothes were ripped from the Spatula 2000's, and there was acid on the seats. Luckily, however unimportant, the seats had it's own auto-cleaning mechanism, making them always look brand-new. The Homos were closing in all around the car at high speed, taking off their pants to reveal their nasty penises for the rape.

At that exact moment, King Mickey dropped down from the sky and casted Stopza, stopping time for everyone within the vicinity. Mickey grabbed Maxi and Zhang-Yu, casted Mega Flare, then escaped back to the Mysterious Tower, leaving nothing but heaps of twisted materials and pools of acid within his wake.

Spongebob the Homo Guy was having anal sex with his three generals when a clone came in to give the news of the assault upon Xiane. While being told the report, the Homo Lord was listening intently, especially to the part about the blinding light.

"A blinding light, eh?" the Homo Lord inquired. "Who made it, and why?"

"The light was made by a mouse-shaped humanoid. This mouse-shaped humanoid went there to save these two humanoids, as well as destroying multiple clones, sir."

"What's this thing the mouse is holding?"

"My guess is that it is a key, sir."

"Good work, my Homo minion. I will now allow you to join in on the festivities with us."

"Thank you, sir!" the clone exclaims, pulling down his pants for the fuck and being fucked.

And so Maxi and Zhang-Yu get saved by Mickey, while Yen Sid is summoning Riku, Sora, and Kairi to the Tower. Xiane, for the time being, is now under the operation of the Homobuddies.

END OF CHAPTER 1


End file.
